Dear Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother- Danu Morrigan

OMG! Boy oh boy and every other exclamation I could ever think of. I wish I had seen this

thirty years ago. From the very outset it “got me” and understood my issues with my

mother. This was like pulling back a curtain revealing what my life has been like up to

this point. About 30 pages in I gave it the title of my new found bible, so inspiring are

the words between the pages in how to deal with these terrible people who blight

lives behind closed doors. If you haven’t experienced a narcissist (and it is a

diagnosable medical condition as well as “just” a trait) it’s hard to explain the dramatic

effects that they can have on people- people they are “supposed” to love and care for.

Shame, guilt, low self esteem, never being right, never being loved not even

appreciated, are just a few of the feelings heaped on their victims. Enough!

This book is about recovering and dealing with them and what a book it is.

Each chapter is a letter (which you can sign up for on the website to get one letter

per week) from the author dealing with an issue that a victim is likely to come

across. Eg Are you a bird trapped against a window- the idea of doing the same

thing will result in the same outcome when the window doesn’t and won’t change.

We keep going to them again and again hoping that this time they will be

receptive/loving/kind /caring and knowing deep down that nothing will change.

We  believed her constant message that she is perfect and we were the ones so

flawed it caused all the problems. Narcissists will not change, cannot change or

even see that there is anything to change. We keep knocking on the door

hoping against all hope that they will change and say something nice, maybe

appreciate us even a little, and then realise the door is a solid wall of rock that

will never, ever open. I can’t give this book either enough praise or enough

stars as it has opened my eyes to a situation and given me tools to be able to

deal with it rather than being the very upset frustrated, gaslighted person I

had become. Having read this, I was able to stand up to her for the

first time in 50 years. Danu- thank you just doesn’t cover it.